Here it is, my list of Thou Shalt Nots (or, at the least, the Me No Like-ys). What are yours?
Nega Carta
Steep Learning Curve – (I’m looking at you, Robert Jordan circa-WoT-book-7.) Even if the book has a lot of names and places, they need to be slowly added. Having to dog ear a page where 6 different characters are introduced (to later use as a reference) is a bad sign. Plus, when a dozen characters are added mid-book, I have trouble caring about their fates
Excessive Recap – I know this only applies to series, but I hate it when there are two chapters of catching-up (the second book of a series is an exception… maybe). If you want to know what happened in the first four books of Harry Potter, then read the first four books of Harry Potter (in the authors’ defense, this is probably forced on them by someone else)
Love Stories – I’m not against a love story being part of the plot but, when it’s the whole plot, I tend to get bored. As we’ve learned from Edward and Bella, there are only so many ways in which you can describe someones breath being taken away before it becomes tiresome
Predictable Twists… that are Stupid – *gasp* the butler (who was a ghost the whole time) did it! (Admittedly, as we get in an increasingly media-saturated, post-modern world, this becomes more and more difficult)
Abuse of Women/Children – it may be a powerful subject, but it gets me too angry/depressed to be worth it
Long-winded Description – unless you are one of the lucky few that gazes in wonder every day at the miracles that surround you on your way to work, then you don’t think in uninterrupted parcels of descriptive prose. It’s more like “huh, I never noticed that that sign had red trim around it before.” An excellent example of the balance to aim for is Hugh Grant’s character’s monologue at the beginning of Notting Hill
Obvious Comic Relief – no offense to Shakespeare here, but this makes part of me shut down (or, at least, skim). There’s a difference between a character that lightens the mood because that’s his personality and a character that lightens the mood because that’s his purpose in the novel
No Character Development – unless you’re Asimov or it’s a short story
2-Dimensional Bad Guys – evil for the sake of evil is un-compelling; even the Biggest, Baddest, Evilest Guy is evil for a reason. If you need a villain that destroys for the sake of destruction, make it a Force instead of a person
“It’s Society’s Fault” – (in contrast to the previous rule) Evil != Misunderstood. Just because the BBEG is evil because he was made fun of in school doesn’t mean that he’s not evil. As Mom always said “there is a difference between a reason and an excuse.” Explain, don’t excuse
(I know, I’m pretty critical of how villains are written.)
Condescending Anachronism – when all “reasonable” characters have a modern outlook in a non-modern setting (e.g.: medieval fantasy novels where every female protagonist is a women’s rights advocate)
People Not Reacting Like People – if it comes down to it, I’d rather have a plot feel contrived and the characters genuine than the other way around
Confusing Strength with Abrasiveness – strong women don’t necessarily have to be bitchy. Strong men aren’t all alpha-males