I haven’t been to a dance in a while. Now I remember why.
I’d say that I miss the days when all dances were choreographed but, sadly, I missed that tradition by a hundred years or so. Looking at the circle on the dance floor, I feel like we’ve regressed. Fifteen, maybe twenty, adult kids, swaying and rocking to the music. They’re situated so that no one is behind them; they can see everyone’s reaction to how they’re doing. It’s the perfect vicious circle for self-conscious person. Each is too afraid to do anything that will draw too much attention.
It’s such a sad metaphor for our mediocrity-promoting society. If they danced alone, they could each do something original, something clever, something funny at least. If they danced with a partner, they’d have to give up some options in order to include the other. But it would be just the two of them. They could lift and dip one another. But everyone’s so afraid of connection, of standing out. So they circle up, restricting themselves from spinning around even. Too many people could look at you funny without you noticing. And you can’t break the circle. Then you’re not all friends
OK, maybe I’m just trying to stretch the significance of my petty observation. Really, we’re just talking about dancing (aren’t we?). The funny thing is, geeks try to pretend that they’re above self-consciousness. (This is the annual dance for Quark: the science fiction and fantasy club at my school. Sorry. I failed to mention that.) Bullshit. We’re proud to be nerdy when we’re around other nerds, doing nerdy things. But take us out of our element and, just like everyone else, we drown. And our individuality is the first weight to be thrown overboard.
Poems, songs, everyone who thinks that they’re an individual and fearless, they mourn those who don’t dance out of self-consciousness, people who are too scared that someone might think that they don’t know how to dance. Well, I guess those singers are right. It is sad. Even so, looking at the circle, looking at other people milling around the dance floor, it hits me that half of the people on the floor are there for that same reason! They dance out of self-consciousness. They’re afraid that their friends will think they’re lame or scared. So they shuffle around, careful to observe those friends. “Has my sacrifice has been accepted?” Or, even worse, they dance in order to impress the others; “Look how self-unaware I am! Are you watching?” Most of those people on the dance floor, they have the exact same motivation as those off of the dance floor. The only difference is the manifestation. And that makes them better?
There are maybe three people out there who are dancing for the sheer joy of it. And you know what, they can’t dance. Not even a little. But they don’t care. I’ll take that any day of the week over the dance floor full of people who would rather be hanging out talking with their friends instead of nervously shuffling beside them.
So more power to the people that dance because they want to. And just as much to those who don’t dance because they genuinely don’t get anything from it. You both are the true heroes. As for you all who try and force yourselves to “dance like no one’s watching:” we are watching. And, until you stop caring, you’ll never stop hating that you can’t stop dancing.
Of course, who am I to talk? I hate to dance for all of the wrong reasons. And here I am, at a dance. Because I wanted to make an appearance.