“I dunno what all the fuss was about. I saw that movie six times; it RULED!”
I went into the new Indiana Jones movie with mixed feelings. On the one hand, old Harry is, well, old. On the other, so was Sylvester (not the cat, who is also old), and the newest Rocky is, in my opinion, the best of the series. On the one hand, Indy wasn’t going to be playing fisticuffs with Nazis anymore. On the other, who doesn’t want to see a Russian (do you see what I did with the link, there?) get kicked in the face? On the one hand, I had heard complaints about adding in sci-fi elements. On the other, this came from people who clearly overlooked the plots of the original three Indiana Jones movies. On the one hand, George Lucas helped write it (and he hasn’t done much of value since ‘Willow’ and ‘Last Crusade’ in ’89… thats first season of Family Matters, people!). On the other, Spielberg had his back.
A third of the way through the film, all of my fears were put to rest. ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’ is a great Indiana Jones movie. Please note my wording; it is great for the series, but they shouldn’t start prepping Oscar speeches just yet. The script is clever-but-choppy, many of the characters are cardboard, the villains are… is there a word for “predictably, mind-numbingly predictable?” And, at least once every 15 minutes, the movie reaches out of the screen, slaps your suspension of disbelief in the face, and makes fun of its momma. But here’s the secret that the critics are forgetting (nono… come closer): THAT’S THE SAME WAY THE OTHER 3 MOVIES WERE!!! That’s what made them great! Indy was the snarky, dirty James Bond, and his women were more neurotic than hot. None of this “shaken, not stirred” crap; this PhD pulls out a gun and shoots the swordsman! Smooth scripts are great but, when it all comes down to it, the kids playing make-believe want to be Indy and Han.
In this respect, the new addition wonderfully compliments the originals. Heck, you stop noticing how old Ford is after the first 5 minutes (that fedora really covers the gray). And, perhaps most importantly, Lucas has entered the narrow gate and begun walking the strait way to redemption. Its a long road, George; I hope Steven packed you a lunch.
I almost forgot: why did no one tell me that Shia Labeouf was in this movie?! I almost choked on a Raisinet! That kid is freaking everywhere! He’s becoming the Will Ferrell of action movies. Shia, so hot right now… Shia. (I did it again. Didja see?) And, jokes aside, that li’l tyke has grown a lot since his humble, Corey-Matthews-wannabe origins. He played his character with depth and credibility. Even the-Mom-from-the-Sandlot… err… Marion did a great job (though her mush factor definitely has had an 11 added to the knobs since ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’).
Not only is this a must-see-in-the-theatres, but it’s a must-add-to-the-collection (assuming you liked the original three, that is).
Kudos:
– So well-directed that suspense is there even though you know very well that Indy drank from the Carpenter’s cup
– Mud in the diner (the Coke bit!)
– Effective blowgun disarming
– I know it’s wrong but, if all else fails, you could laugh at Ox
– “JUST SAY ‘Grab the branch’!!!”
– Phenomenal mushy-love line (and in the middle of a car chase, no less)
– The Shia psych-out at the end
